Taking the First Step

When I coach, I often find many people have difficulty not necessarily in accomplishing a goal – but rather in just starting it.  They have all these ideas in their head, they write things down, they make long to-do or wish list that carry over from days to weeks to even months – but that is the extent of their action. 

A little secret that may people don’t know is that what generally happens once a person takes action on a goal – just the first step, no matter how teeny tiny of a step it may seem to be - things begin to magically fall into place.  Once the ball gets rolling and catches momentum - people, things, situations just seem to come to their aid to support their goal and before they know it – they’ve accomplished what they thought they couldn’t even start.  So it’s not necessarily the difficulty in starting – but rather it’s the ‘not starting’ that makes it so difficult.  Get it?

The next time you have an issue/challenge/task that may appear daunting or overwhelming – just take the first step and everything else will follow.  Try it...it works all the time – but you’ve got to just take the first step.  Get Ready, Get Inspired! -GD

Dealing with Negativity & Hostility

With the many groups I coach, a common question that comes up is “How do I deal with other people’s negativity and hostility, especially in this environment where most people are willing to put others down to make themselves look good?”    My answer simply is: You just worry about making yourself the best example of a human being you can possibly be.  Being human, you will make mistakes – it won’t be your first, it won’t be your last.  Some people will make bigger mistakes than you, some people will make smaller mistakes than you – it does not mean they are any worst or better than you.  Strive to learn and grow.  Don’t waste your time and energies trying to figure other people out, spend this time and energy understanding yourself first.  Many times people have their own issues that have nothing to do with you directly.  Some people will take their baggage, strap it to your back and ask you to carry it barefoot across the country for them…but only if you let them. The other half the time they are not even fully aware of how abrasive they may come off.  However, I want to make very clear if it is a form of harassment: verbal abuse, sexual harassment, discrimination, bullying or stalking – these are not to be tolerated and should be immediately reported accordingly to the proper supervisors and authorities as required.  Thankfully, most of the cases I’ve heard of are people being either just unaware, unprofessional and the very few - hurtful.  In all three of those cases – use them as shining examples of what NOT to be; resonate from a higher source.  Remember, there’s always a learning experience in everything we come across, so focus on spending the time and energy in growing yourself.  G.R.G.I!  - GD

Moving Away from Negative Influences

Having coached hundreds of folks – a common roadblock I see are people that unknowingly surround themselves with negative influence.  Negative influence can mean many things.  The negative influences I’m referring to are basically the people who have decided who you are and what you’re capable of doing based on what they perceive of you.  They are the judges who contribute in no other way but give their point of view which is generally discouraging.  When you have a dream in your heart – be very aware of who you choose to surround yourself with.  Who are the people in your life right now that have already pre-judged you and will continue to judge you?  They may be colleagues, friends and even family members.  Unless they have a stake in your dream, ie: they are helping you with start up capital or they are a partner in your business - the brutal truth is you need to limit your exposure to their negativity.  Negativity attracts negativity and that is why so many new entrepreneurs cannot get past their own mindset.  Now, I’m not saying go out there and cut off those people in your life – absolutely not.  Just have a heightened awareness of how much time you may be spending with negative influencers and recognize the source of where their judgments come from.  No one can tell you what you are capable of achieving.  Only you can decide that.  Stay true to your dreams and resonate with those people who support you mentally, emotionally and spiritually.  Get Ready, Get Inspired! - GD

THE DETAILS FOR A LASTING IMPRESSION

With the fierce competition in today’s job market, I was recently asked by a coaching student for advice on how to best approach the tables at job fairs.  It's natural for many folks to get a bit nervous at these types of events and actually that’s a good thing because it keeps us all on our tippy toes! The trick is to take that same nervous energy and harness it into positive action.  It’s not a hard task to accomplish this conversion to positive action – it just needs to be kept on the forefront of your mind.

Here are some quick tips for a great first impression at job fairs and other business events:

1. Always start with a warm smile. Don't worry about how others receive you. In fact if you should come across any negativity (which most likely you won't at these events) just offer your brightest smile.  A genuine smile comes from a source of abundance, an initial love for one self and exudes self confidence. Negativity attracts negativity so your positive approach and warm smile will attract the like. 

2. In your mind be familiar with your "30 second elevator speech" to share with others when you meet them. So for instance when I meet folks and they ask me what I do- I don't say the "title" of what I am. I familiarize them with the services I provide. So for instance instead of saying I am an author, coach and speaker, I say: "I help folks find their sweet spot." "Well, what do you mean by that?"- they would ask, and then I get into the details: "Well, through my coaching, writing and keynotes- I offer inspiration for folks to achieve their maximum potential, their sweet spot where they can achieve their dreams and find their fulfillment."

See the difference? The standard answer "Author, Coach and Speaker" is typical and won't be as memorable and discussion provoking. This subtle yet more impactful approach talks about the services you offer instead of what you are. 

And what if you don't know what your services are? Think about your ideal job and what you do best- whatever it may be. So for instance if you'd like to be an executive assistant and you have excellent organizational skills - your 30 second elevator speech may be: "Well, I support and organize fast track executives in their continued career growth, I am their right hand and go to person."

If you were a wedding cake baker, you'd say: "I provide memorable desserts for special occasions. I keep Brides and Grooms happy with beautifully decorated and delicious custom cakes."

Taking this approach will stand you out from the masses that just announce their job title instead of the services.

3. Lastly, always address these folks by their names and thank them for their time when you leave their tables. In job fairs and other business events - there are so many people that are in such a mad rush to get around to meet everyone - they don't necessarily address these details.  And remember - it’s all in the details that make a lasting impression!  Get Ready, Get Inspired! - GD

No More "Thens"

With my coaching I see it all the time: people not taking any steps towards implementing their dreams.  Whether it’s related to their business or personal endeavors – here is a gentle nudge for these folks:  this is it.   You only have today, now, the present, this moment.  The tomorrows and yesterdays are illusions of the mind – they are past memories or hopeful futures, there is only the present time and until you accept this you will always be living in the past or living in the “then”.  The “thens” is a time frame that is based on something else happening prior. We’ve all been there at one point or another, the problem is when people chose to forever, permanently reside in the “then”. 

“After my big promotion, then I’ll treat myself to that vacation in Europe.” 

“After the kids are all grown up, then I’ll go back to school.”

“Once work isn’t so busy- then I’ll take time off with the family.”

No more “thens”.  Do it now.  Life is too precious to be squandered away with minimal fulfillment or joy.  Do it now for no one but yourself.  Do it now because you deserve it. 

Get Ready, Get Inspired!  -GD

Distance Provides Better Perspective

It’s not uncommon, when folks are going through challenges – whether it’s a good challenge of activating creativity on a new project or a challenge in dealing with a difficult situation, they can’t seem to get clarity on the best direction for their situation.  Many times that’s because they are simply too close to it.  It’s important to step back from it.  If it is not a crucially time sensitive matter, give yourself a break from trying to get to the answer; rest from the overanalyzing and mental dissecting of the situation.  Granting yourself this time and distance will allow you to have “fresh eyes” when you review it at a later time.  This is similar to the saying: “When you’re in the forest, you can’t see the trees.”  This is also why it is so easy for close friends and family to give love ones great advice.  When you’re not in the middle of it - with no attachment, especially emotional attachment – solutions and ideas become clearer.  The next time you have a pressing decision to make or you’re at loss for inspiration for a new project - take a step back from it.  More often than not, you’ll find when you look at it again – other options will present themselves.

Continued Learning

When it comes to careers, many folks unknowingly limit themselves to stay within the confines of their own “safe zones”.  A safe zone may be defined as a well acclimated environment or activity where individuals know exactly what to expect and the outcomes they will achieve.  Because there is little or no sense of creativity and adventure – their learning and growth becomes stunted on these career plateaus.  Now there will always be certain periods in people’s lives when it’s good to cruise in a safe zone for a while. These times may be when there is instability in other areas of their lives and the last thing they need is to be concerned about is career growth.  In fact enjoying the scenery and reaping the benefits of familiar successes creates gratitude and builds self confidence.  However, with that being said, if everything else is status quo, being in overly long periods on a plateau is not healthy for the mind or spirit.  As human beings we’re designed to grow and stretch beyond our comfort zones.  If this is not achieved in our careers, it should be achieved in other areas of our lives, through our passions or hobbies. The mind needs to be constantly stimulated with continued learning and growth.  To help ensure you’re not stuck in your own safe zone, ask yourself these simple daily questions - applicable to both your career and life.  What have I learned today?  What do I want to learn more of?  What aspect of my life would I like to increase fulfillment?  These simple questions will keep learning and growing on the forefront of your mind.

Pause

Recently I taught another new class, an amazing group of passionate women ready to take the next step to pursue their dreams and ambitions. As a certified coach, at these workshops I always share my past life and career experiences not to impress the audience – but to impress upon them that all goals are achievable as long as you are taking supportive action towards them. One question a student asked was “How do I get out of this idleness I am stuck in?” Now, everything is a mind set. This idleness can be viewed as many things to different people. It can be viewed as a result of self-doubt, past poorly made decisions, fear of failure, or uncertainty of direction; all these may result in a lack of assertiveness to confidently move forward. From a more positive and productive approach, I like to view idleness as simply a brief pause. It’s important to have pauses in our lives for self reflection of our past learning. And everyone has these pauses. The most successful people have had the most pauses in their lifetime. During these pauses, ask yourself these simple questions: what you like and dislike about results you’ve gotten, what you’re good at and not good at; and lastly, what ultimately makes you truly happy with a steadfast sense of fulfillment. I don’t even encourage time to review past bad decisions – if you’re already reflecting on results you did not like – that in itself is enough to move you forward and away from making bad choices again. The problem is too many people focus in on the path of their mistakes, creating overwhelming guilt and re-living the pain over and over, not being able to move forward. Release yourself from unproductive thoughts; spend your energy on the future, not the past. You’ll find this pause, this time of reflection - will help shape future decisions on which direction you’d like to move in. So don’t be too hard on yourself for “idleness”; embrace this pause and utilize it as a productive base to launch you forward to your life’s next adventure. Get Ready, Get Inspired!

On Gratitude

Excerpt from Everyday Inspiration, A Collection of Positive Quotes and Contemplations. “Choose to live your life from a stance of gratitude. Recognize and give thanks to all the positive aspects in your life. When you focus on all the good, the universal law of attraction will only send you more good. Gratitude is the key to perpetual fulfillment and grace in your life.” -Grace Daly

On Parenting

Discussions were spurred by a recent release of a book on a specific parenting style. The author claims to have the best parenting strategy: boasting on extreme strict rules of no play dates, tv time, or sleepovers as a few examples. It appears that she ties this in with specific cultures, playing up to stereotypes. Smart marketing strategy –no doubt she’ll sell lots of books with this controversy she’s sparked.
As based from Random House dictionary: Stereotype: in sociology: a simplified and standardized conception or image invested with special meaning and held in common by members of a group: The cowboy and Indian are American stereotypes.
Hmmm, interesting. I have not read the book and most likely will not due to my time constraints – however I will take 10 minutes to share my thoughts on the subject of parenting.
Growing up, I watched a lot of tv. We didn’t have sleep overs only because that was not popular in our community of tight quarters of the Lower East Side. I was never required to have a grade no less than an A; however I did do well on my own accord. When I pursued an education in art – not once did my parents discourage me. As my retail career path evolved – my parents did not steer me in any other profession. They recognized my sense of happiness and well being was their goal. Did they share my successes with friends and family? Of course they did – as any proud parent would – however it was a happiness and celebration after I sought my own decisions and paths – not a result of pressing strict rules upon me. That’s the difference. They didn’t press, they inspired. This is the same parenting style I’ve adopted.
Academic success and competitiveness has its advantages but let’s not fool ourselves to think that’s the end all answer to life. Knowledge is useless unless it’s applied, and wisdom comes through only experience. Learning from one’s own experience based on one’s own decisions builds character and emotional intelligence. Part of parenting is learning to inspire, trust and guide your children to pursue their idea of a successful life. This will ensure they live their life for themselves and for the right reasons; not to beat out a competition, appease harsh expectations of parents or because someone’s watching.
Maybe the true reason for accomplishment should be for the sheer enjoyment of it and not based on ego or fear. That’s just my philosophy and I am an American Chinese mom.

Caring for Yourself

Excerpt from Grace’s second book: Everyday Inspiration
“Take tender care of this body you have been given; it is the shelter to your spirit.” – Grace Daly
Your well being is a key factor to all you will achieve in your life. Good health embraces physical fitness, mental vigor and spiritual strength. It’s important to make time to care for yourself first. This is not a selfish move, but a wise one. This will ensure you have the physical, mental and spiritual stamina to care for your loved ones and those around you. You must be able to care for yourself before you can help others. Get Ready, Get Healthy for the New Year! GD

Start Now

“Welcome every morning with a smile. Look on the new day as another special gift from your Creator, another golden opportunity to complete what you were unable to finish yesterday. Be a self-starter. Let your first hour set the theme of success and positive action that is certain to echo through your entire day. Today will never happen again. Don’t waste it with a false start or no start at all. You were not born to fail.” ~ Og Mandino, (1923-1996) American Author and Inspirational Speaker.
Have a blessed start to the week. Get Ready, Get Inspired. GD

Happy New Year 2011

There’s something beautiful about starting a fresh new year. It’s a chance to fulfill new goals and dreams: staying healthy and fit; learning something new and interesting to exercise your mind; recognizing your spiritual growth through self awareness and our connectedness to each other. With thoughtful reflection of the past year’s joys and challenges, it’s a sweet goodbye to all of it. Keep the good memories and release everything else. Let go of any crossed arm anger you may have and open yourself to a warm welcome for all the new adventures to come. Don’t exert your energies holding onto the past – especially any negativity or you’ll miss all the glory ahead. Make this your year to grow in every way you can. Acknowledge and embrace anything you may have perceived as a weakness or challenge because that is where your greatest opportunity is. Recognize and let go of other people’s limiting and negative beliefs that may have been impressed upon you. Decide that this is the year you will find fulfillment and serenity. Dare to live this incredibleness that is already within you – just waiting for you to believe in it enough to release it… Make this choice to live the life you’ve always dreamed of; the world awaits your greatness!
Wishing you blessings each and every day of the New Year, Grace Daly